Metamorphosis

I came to College in July of 2012, thinking I knew who I was, and I was confident about what I was going to do with my life. Right from the start I was given some pretty cool opportunities to be involved in TV & Media projects, and everything people could observe about me seemed to indicate that I was ‘living the dream!’

But through this whole process, I learned there is a massive difference between what appears to be and what really is. Everything on the outside seemed to be fine. I would attend my classes, do all my assessments, serve throughout the week... I appeared to be alright on the surface, but on the inside I had become a total mess! I can remember locking myself in my room sitting on my bed alone with my face buried in my hands, and amidst the tears crying out to God from that tiny bedroom I called home. The dream I was living seemed more like a nightmare. 

I was brutally aware that the person I thought I was, had become entirely foreign to who I was becoming. Like the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly, I was caught in the metamorphosis. It seemed as if my future was hidden from me and I could barely see.

Yet in the midst of disappointments and despair, through the uncertainty and periods stained by fear, I found someone to whom I could cling. The one constant through all of time, the one whom my very existence defines! In Jesus I found light for my darkest days, strength for my weary legs, peace in the midst of the storms I faced. I began to see that God was doing a new thing in and through me, that where I came from is not where I am going. That despite my insecurities and failures, I can stand here today and say, not for a moment will You forsake me!